Nope not a joke.
I wish it were.
I live in a suburb of Houston.
SUBURB. As in lots and lots of houses. Residential area.
There is not a nice sized field, farm or forest even remotely close.
I have a giant raccoon that has been coming in my garage and eating the cat’s food.
My family swore I had lost my mind and was seeing just a very large stray cat.
You know, kinda like that Eye glass commercial where the lady is calling “here kitty, kitty” and letting a raccoon in her house because she’s blind as a bat….
Then they saw it.
It didn’t even flinch. She just looked up and kept eating.
Seriously?! So now I realize not only is she huge…scary…possibly rabid (okay probably not but STILL)…she is accustomed to being around people…and that freaks me the hell out.
Hubs had to throw something at her to make it leave the garage. (For all the PETA people I assure you he didn’t hit her..just threw it near her to scare her away).
This thing is enormous.
It’s like the mother of all raccoons. Larger than my full sized cats. More like a medium sized dog.
So…after a bit we realized she has torn down a vent cover under my soffit and is getting in the attic/crawspace area.
Now THAT freaks me out.
Raccoons are not cute and cuddly. They are disease carrying. Even after they have long gone any feces left behind can dry out, turn to dust, be churned up by your AC and spread clouds of parasite eggs into your living areas.
YES! I am serious.
You can most definitely ingest these teeny tiny eggs and a real live giant worm will be living in your gut….slowly making you sick and can even kill you.
Before I was just pissed.
I mean I am living in a house that is half air conditioned right now because that $%^&*@ tore through the ductwork for three of our rooms. Hubs went up there. Clamped the ducts closed. Put up a trap. Repaired the hole in the soffit.
Yes we still need to do a closer investigation to make sure she didn’t leave any ick behind. As in I am going to have to like put on a mask, arm myself with a gallon of bleach and some old rags and do a complete clean up of any areas she was hanging out. Remove any surrounding insulation and replace it (that’s Hubs part).
But for now…we really can’t do much.
We are waiting for the ducts to be repaired. I don’t want to stir up any ick that could get sucked down into the house…and make us sick.
So…after all this ….
I am sitting here drinking my cold coke over ice when I hear noises from the attic.
ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME?
I think she’s smarter than we thought.
When hubs went up and looked around.
She won’t go in the trap.
Now she’s stuck up there.
This is WAY bad.
I am seriously annoyed at this point and am seriously thinking about doing the whole “soak some tennis balls in ammonia and throw them around you attic” trick and leave the crawl space door in the garage down so she can climb out when the smell gets too much for her.
I will get smart and call the exterminator but last time they did what we are doing now.
Traps with cat food in them and they charged us a fortune and never did trap her……apparently since she is back.
We did get a squirrel last time….
It’s something I guess..